A seed must burst open in the most untidy way for new life to emerge. And then the journey begins!
Sketch & Watercolor done today – Such Fun!!!
I am a Mountain.
I am Alive, Solid, Grounded.
I have a Diamond Soul.
She shines within and radiates out into the world.
I have feelings. Happy ones; Sad ones.
I am not my feelings, but I have them.
My feelings are not ME. They are what I feel.
I am a Mountain. I am unmovable as a person who exists upon this Earth.
I like the happy feelings of joy, love, acceptance, value, and peace.
When clouds and storms of sorrow and pain and anger and darkness come, I don’t like these.
But I see them, I feel them, I know them. But they are not ME.
They are around me and I feel them deeply. But they are not ME.
I am a Diamond Soul Mountain.
The feelings will come and go – stuff happens – the sun is blocked from time to time.
But I am a Diamond Soul Mountain. I hold myself, and She within holds me too.
The Divine within the Earth of My Mountain can never be snuffed.
Just can’t stop The Eternal Presence of Love and Grace.
This is my Home. I am not my feelings. They come and go.
I am Loved and Held and Grounded in Grace.
The Eternal Diamond Within.
Lorie Martin – Feb 19, 2016
Sketch by David Hayward www.nakedpastor.com
Fi, my dear friend for many years, has done a remarkable journey of transformation that has taken both extreme courage and Divine grace. It has been a most beautiful gift to watch her go within her cave, meet her deepest sorrows and pain, linger there with Healing Love, and return with glorious risen life and even JOY which speaks louder than any sermon could ever preach. I am thrilled, inspired, and grateful far beyond words to journey with her and to share a piece of her story here. It’s worth the descent. I invite you to be still with this magnificent sketch by David Hayward. Sophia at the entrance is us. Dare we go in to the depths of our souls – what will we find there? or who?
The Cave – A Call to Maturity – by Fiona Calder – Used with Permission
What I share with you today began with this picture called The Cave. It is a drawing by David Hayward of a young woman, standing at the entrance to a dark cave. She knows this cave is a part of her very self, and she is arguing with herself about whether to take a look inside.
To me this picture is a call to acknowledging and embracing all that is hidden in us that we’d prefer to hide or forget. It is a call to mature, and to become all that we can.
How can we ever be fully loved, if we are never fully known?
And how can we ever truly love ourselves if we do not actually know ourselves?
I think there are seasons of our lives when we need to get to know ourselves better or we simply will not mature. Part of this will mean going into our cave; daring to peek into the dark places of our thoughts, emotions and past.
My personal discovery has been that the more I know myself, the more I know God. Risking getting closer to myself has been an unexpected gateway to getting closer to God. The more I have embraced all that is hidden in my dark, hidden self, the more I have discovered the Light of the Creator within me. He was waiting for me in the cave.
When you look at David Hayward’s picture, and you imagine it as a place inside of us, what do you think might be hidden in that cave?
This is my list: depression, mental illness, sexual orientation, addictions, fears, past hurts and traumas, our failings, things we can’t forgive, parts of ourselves we despise or are ashamed of, our deep losses, all our triggers and soap boxes.
I think that for me and for many people, what was hidden in the cave, had become my enemy within. This hidden stuff limited me, tripped me up, stopped me being who I wanted to be. It frustrated and annoyed me. At times I loathed my inner me.
Jesus had a very simple solution for dealing with our enemy. Love.
Learning to Love ourselves can be the epitome of Loving our enemy.
And therefore, should we ever decide to enter our cave we have to make a decision to be clothed only in Love. We cannot go in there to drive out the darkness; all guns blazing, tongue lashing, fingers pointing. Remember, the cave usually holds pain, trauma, shame. To enter, it is very important that we first lay down our self-accusations, our control, our “why don’t you just grow up!” our “I can fix this!” and our self-pity.
Our caves contain that within us which feels unreachable, inaccessible and untouchable. Parts of ourselves which we cannot change. Not by prayer and tears, nor by monumental human effort.
I have a mystery for you. Love is the key to transformation. Always. Love changes us. I cannot explain it, but those out-of-reach parts of me which God and I have embraced and loved are becoming healed and are becoming a gift to me; even the ugliest and vilest of them.
I have been thrilled to discover that the more we are transformed by Love, the more we become ourselves.
The more I give God’s love freedom in my cave, the less of my junk there is and the more of Fi I discover. Letting God teach me how to love myself hasn’t shrunk me, it has expanded and enlarged me! And that makes me better at loving others. It turns out … the treasure hidden in my cave is me! And the treasure hidden in your cave is you!
I have visited my cave for 10 years now. It is no longer such a scary place for me. This last couple of months I have struggled with anxiety and fear to some degree every day. But now I know to go into my cave (where I hide these emotions) with compassion and wrap my arms around my fearful self, to let her rest her head on my shoulder and to hold her shaking hand. I don’t tell her she can do better, I don’t beat her over the head with scriptures, I don’t rebuke her for her lack of faith and trust, and I don’t pretend she’s not there and stuff her down into the darkness … instead I look her in the eye and I say “we’re going to get through this together Sweet Fi, God will give us wisdom and courage for all that’s coming.” And I have spread my nets out among my trusted friends and asked for opportunities for my fearful self to have her voice heard over cups of tea and walks through the woods – they too will be with me through all that is coming. This way, even my darkness is held by God, my community and myself.
And to you, dear friends, I wish you courage on your journey. And should you ever find yourself looking into the dark abyss of your own heart and wondering if you dare proceed … I say, take courage. The Light of the Creator awaits you inside. Strip off your garments of accusation and blame. Clothe yourselves in Love, and tip-toe in gently and humbly. You will be led. He will light your path. And you, just like Jesus of Nazareth, will experience the transforming power and wonder of Resurrection Love in the cave.
January 10, 2016
You are the Living Fire in my soul.
You kindle my heart while I sleep.
And when I awake
I am set ablaze
by the beauty and grace of your love
that sparks within me when first we gaze. LM
Photo by LM @ the cottage Jan /16
She glistens when the magic of the moment graces her to shimmer.
That we may not despair.
But consent to watch and be awakened to greet her when she dances by. LM
Photo from my office/chapel window Dec /15
You have descended
only to press me
into the Light. LM
Art piece from Playing with Paint with Herta 2014
As I enter the new year I sense the invitation to continue to Let Go of things I can not control. Acceptance asks me to join her in a surrendered glade by joyful waters to splash about in unknown outcomes. I disconnect from the hold, accept what I cannot change or control, and open to the endless possibilities that really could be. Want to join me there?
Mostly I simply do what I can – this I can control. Make plans, step forward, budget, show up, live well, draw a bit, rest more, take care of myself, clean out my closet, make a simple but delicious meal, extend a healing hand, take a photo, be honest, be humble, lean on a friend, light a candle, open to Grace, and simply be quiet….. and then dance!
New Year Life and grace upon grace to you.
It all started with an invitation. The ancient pilgrim walk of the labyrinth beckoned me to come. I was in Seattle at a retreat centre on Puget Sound spending 3 days in silent reflection with God.
It was time.
I’ll never be the same.
“Come, my little one – Bring your suffering to Me.”
I come. Taking a deep breath I slowly maneuvered through the deep waters of my soul with her ever-present pain & sorrow, grief and loss – “The Great Sadness” weighing her down in hopeless despair. I come.
“Meet me in The Centre of My Intimate Love.” Deep calls to deep. I surrender. It all melts into Love. Waiting in the not-knowing with my forehead bowed and sunken onto the cruciform brick as deep time passes into the here and now. “Rise up, little one.”
“Walk out into Risen Life and New Beginnings.” Dare I? Oh Mysterious Love! By grace, with buried faith, I follow into the Light of Love.
“Rest now and Let it Be.”
The Paschal Mystery of Christ – Suffering, Dying, Waiting, Rising, ….. Resurrection Life – May I stay Awake!
A year full of wonderful activities, meaningful encounters, many joys and deep sorrow…..
Now, my soul longs for Quiet like a deer pants for water. Not quiet for quiet’s sake although that would be holy enough.
Quiet in which to notice the many beautiful little surprises that just exist; like the wee hummingbird that stopped by my table on our view deck yesterday simply to drink from the happy lobelia blooming profusely in the white porcelain pot that i keep refilling with these brilliant indigo buds which my mother gave me a few years ago.
Quiet enough to delight in the whizzing of dragonflies, the harmonies of birds songs, and the splashing sprinklers that keep my garden treasures alive.
Quiet enough to feel the sun’s kisses on my face, the cool grass in my toes, my garden and home project pains in my back and shoulders, my son’s glorious big strong slow hugs, and God’s love maybe just a little bit more.
Quiet long enough to meet my inner Life in a meaningful way and be forever changed for now by the love and kindness I offer myself to simply be; and that be enough for the rich and rare moment; before the necessary and fulfilling action times appear again.
May our summer be laced with quiet; where beauty and love can mingle; that we may be laced with quiet.
Summer light and joy,
I had the precious honor of witnessing a Divine encounter a few weeks ago. I know each moment is precious and to be held as holy. I know that ‘God’ is present and active in each smile we offer one another and in each face we meet. I see The Sacred Presence of Love and Life in each new leaf that emerges this spring and every little ladybug that crawls up to say, “good day.” But this was one of those moments that was extra-ordinary – the essence was most holy like a brand new baby being born – something most beautiful that doesn’t happen every day just like the day before. Here are her journal entries from our time together after years of wondering, waiting, and seeking only Truth. (Shared with permission by dearest ‘C’.)
” Today you soared into my heart
like a blade of light
and nestled there,
home at last,
tremulous tender entangled in rainbows of prismatic light “
” What shall I call thee?
Dear heart of hearts
Dear friend, dear friend.
Dear Awesomeness! (wink wink,nudge, nudge!)
Dear friend ”
Photo: Dearest Jodi’s bracelet shared at a deeply sacred time “of Light” in my life. 2013 LM
Welcome to ‘Invited In.’ A new simple beginning to the next season of what I offer the world through spiritual direction/companionship, retreat experiences, and spiritual formation groups. I am grateful for what I have been given that feeds my soul and transforms my life. I am grateful for the opportunities I have to share and extend them to those I meet along life’s pathways. This site is a part of a series of New Dawn’s for me – a Next Dawn – as Light and Love continue to emerge in new tender ways. A special thank you to all my cherished family and friends who have journeyed with me so there could be a next dawn. And to, Erin, thank you for making this new website so beautiful and a reality!!!
Grace upon Grace to all. Lorie